got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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