a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
