This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
