Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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