My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
