matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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