Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am available for nakedness
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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