Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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