Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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