Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Congratulations! We have a period
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