That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
