sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
