I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
