I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
