'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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