is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
