Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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