You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
