I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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