i just wanna soil my oats bro
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
