Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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