Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
