im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize