the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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