I looked at my own cervix.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
