I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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