I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
