HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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