If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
