trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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