Dual....:-)
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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