Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
