Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom. http://tfl.nu/i9mn
  Replies (10) Good night (551) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv
  Replies (12) Good night (961) Bad night (4159)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok http://tfl.nu/x8pl
  Replies (17) Good night (4507) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust. http://tfl.nu/b11e
  Replies (7) Good night (3824) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): All I need in life is some dick and a big mac. http://tfl.nu/2v25
  Replies (65) Good night (6512) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome http://tfl.nu/b710
  Replies (10) Good night (2032) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now. http://tfl.nu/n39e
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  His new job just became new places to have sex at.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): His new job just became new places to have sex at. http://tfl.nu/ezs0
  Replies (7) Good night (1784) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (778): Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25% http://tfl.nu/4mvy
  Replies (5) Good night (1168) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning http://tfl.nu/ntuq
  Replies (14) Good night (1903) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated." http://tfl.nu/111j
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.

  (1-951): View more from California

  Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck. (1-951): Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician. http://tfl.nu/esvj
  Replies (10) Good night (1465) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life. http://tfl.nu/h7k0
  Replies (7) Good night (507) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself. http://tfl.nu/rz6k
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services. http://tfl.nu/kl6k
  Replies (0) Good night (299) Bad night (250)

Randomize