Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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  (202): I want to give you a handjob with my mouth. http://tfl.nu/s0yv
  Replies (25) Good night (2085) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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  (814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8
  Replies (29) Good night (4775) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.

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  (540): My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things. http://tfl.nu/x5j7
  Replies (3) Good night (3784) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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  (702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5
  Replies (20) Good night (5427) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.

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  (270): they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone. http://tfl.nu/t9of
  Replies (8) Good night (4327) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.

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  (618): She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover. http://tfl.nu/cpec
  Replies (13) Good night (4154) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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  (813): Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night.... http://tfl.nu/k2vf
  Replies (3) Good night (2404) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?

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  (610): I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke? http://tfl.nu/zzrl
  Replies (7) Good night (1483) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.

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  (850): I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong. http://tfl.nu/d58h
  Replies (6) Good night (1361) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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  (617): The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library. http://tfl.nu/8dpw
  Replies (2) Good night (1168) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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  (319): Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world? http://tfl.nu/2f1z
  Replies (7) Good night (2078) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

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  (516): There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much? http://tfl.nu/0m7u
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear

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  (215): I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear http://tfl.nu/l6yx
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...

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  (905): I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply... http://tfl.nu/4d3r
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (235)

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