Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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