My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.