Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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