Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?

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(303): If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom? http://tfl.nu/ym23

Replies (24) Good night (770) Bad night (4456)
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(904): View more from Florida

I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

(1-904): View more from Florida

It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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(904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg

Replies (28) Good night (876) Bad night (2191)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

This guy has a retainer. We're golden.

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(902): This guy has a retainer. We're golden. http://tfl.nu/im2l

Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (2022)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

well apparently not.

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(978): saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in? (1-978): well apparently not. http://tfl.nu/kqax

Replies (50) Good night (1454) Bad night (5479)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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(920): So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again. http://tfl.nu/54yy

Replies (18) Good night (2029) Bad night (6338)
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(407): View more from Florida

Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow

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(407): Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow http://tfl.nu/4rys

Replies (5) Good night (3602) Bad night (909)
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(210): View more from Texas

I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.

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(210): I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast. http://tfl.nu/qvgk

Replies (143) Good night (2383) Bad night (50597)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table

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(508): Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table http://tfl.nu/id1h

Replies (10) Good night (4497) Bad night (1172)
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(983): View more from

I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again

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(983): I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again http://tfl.nu/uu1t

Replies (11) Good night (661) Bad night (2472)
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(541): View more from Oregon

When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?

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(541): When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party? http://tfl.nu/4whz

Replies (6) Good night (630) Bad night (1517)
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(314): View more from Missouri

My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.

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(314): My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done. http://tfl.nu/u7ub

Replies (1) Good night (873) Bad night (360)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...

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(617): A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain... http://tfl.nu/gy86

Replies (4) Good night (1183) Bad night (489)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.

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(901): I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy. http://tfl.nu/blaa

Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (318)
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(314): View more from Missouri

She went to her drug test stoned.

(636): View more from Missouri

And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.

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(314): She went to her drug test stoned. (636): And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it. http://tfl.nu/x7e0

Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (345)
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(+61): View more from Australia

If tits could talk, mine would be bragging

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(+61): If tits could talk, mine would be bragging http://tfl.nu/uf52

Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (275)

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