I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
