i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
