hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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