I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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