remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
