Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
bring money and cleavage
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
