Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
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i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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