it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
