hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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