I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
