Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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