Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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