so that wasnt chicken after all
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My dick has a subreddit
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
