3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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