You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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