I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
