Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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