I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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