Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can text with my tongue
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
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3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
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I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
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