Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize