Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just tell him i said nine months
well you can't waste a boner
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
