I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
