I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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