it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize