You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
