I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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