hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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