It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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