whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
