Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize