nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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