so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
