he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize