is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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