I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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