I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
