i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
