Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
