I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Congratulations! We have a period
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